This is part of a series. To read the first post, which discusses the origins, click here.
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Air Canada sponsored a holiday flash mob this week. It was a way to get travelers into the holiday spirit and, I am not embarrassed to admit, it made me cry a little. Flash mobs are emblems of sincere joy and unabashed enthusiasm; they stand in stark juxtaposition to the cynicism, aloofness, and indifference which pervades our media and pop cultural influences these days. Members of flash mobs say, If you’re happy and you’re not too cool to show it, clap your hands. And it warms my heart.
There is certainly a place for cynicism. Astronaut David T. Wolf once said that “idealism is what precedes experience, cynicism is what follows.” And I suppose that the world needs realists. How else can we act with intention if we do not fully understand the needs of an imperfect world? But, while years ago cynicism was closer to a sense of caution and realism, today cynicism is a philosophy and almost a sport.
I watched A Charlie Brown Christmas with my two-year-old the other night. He loved the music and Snoopy, and I loved the message. I don’t think I’d paid attention to it much in the past, but Charlie Brown’s earnestness in directing a serious Christmas pageant, picking an authentic Christmas tree, and considering the meaning of the holiday season, is so rare. Earnestness is thought of as a silly character trait in a world of Wikileaks, cable news, and non-stop advertising. An earnest person seems naive, or just unable to play it cool. 
It’s hard to wear an ironic t-shirt if you’re earnest.
Judith Acosta wrote a really articulate article this week called Narcissism: The New Normal? in which she links the decision of the psychiatric diagnostic standards manual (the DSM-V) to remove the narcissistic personality disorder from its roster to the pervasive narcissism we experience on a daily basis in the form of public cell phone conversations, meals interrupted by Blackberries, and Twitter being Twitter.
Acosta argues that “a trend of unrestrained entitlement and narcissism…has undermined not only our expectations (of each other, of government, of business, of life itself) but the natural order of family structure.” Her larger point involves the repercussions this cultural shift has on children and parenting, but I also think that the contrast between how we relate to one another today versus, say, fifty years ago, is shocking: When the focus of energy was on other people’s needs before our own–in the form of, say, prescribed manners and civics classes–people tended to behave more sincerely and less cynically. Think of Leave it to Beaver. We would call that show cheesy now. And yet people were entertained by it because it struck a chord close to what they knew and valued: Straightforwardness, sincerity, earnestness.
Believe me, I know the ’50s wasn’t all poodle skirts and milkshakes. But it was a time where people were often forced to consider other people’s needs before their own: TVs couldn’t record shows, so everyone had to agree or compromise on what to watch, most families had one car so schedules had to be coordinated, and people talked to each other far more than we do today. There were fewer distractions and diversions, so people talked.
On Conan O’Brien’s last night hosting The Tonight Show, he implored his audience in the following way:
“All I ask of you, especially young people…is one thing. Please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism — it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen. I’m telling you, amazing things will happen.”
As much as I never thought I would take parenting philosophies from a man who wears a pompadour, Conan articulated something that is important to our core happiness. And, above all else, we want our children to be happy; and it is hard to be happy when you are unhappy all the time. I mean, that kind of goes without saying, but that is was cynicism is. It is an attitude of “scornful or jaded negativity, especially a general distrust of the integrity or professed motives of others”(thefreedictionary.com).
Distrust the media. Fine. Scorn the laws you don’t agree with. Okay. But don’t distrust the kindness of a stranger helping you with bags at the airport. Don’t scorn the Christmas gift that isn’t exactly what you wanted. To be happy is to be kind in your actions and your thoughts. Usually one is harder than the other. But sincerity is to try–and to not be too cool to try.
